Wa*king is Wonderful

A follow up to my article, Wa*k Yourself Healthy.

The recent Sainsbury’s Comfort magazine features an article by Janet Street-Porter Unfortunately, due to a problem with autocorrect, the article was entitled “Walking is Wonderful”. We now reprint this article in its correct form, with all instances of “walk” replaced with their original intent.

The following text is taken from Sainsbury’s Comfort Magazine Autumn 2016 edition, with minimal editing.

Wanking makes you feel great – and what better excuse for a pub lunch! Janet Street-Porter shares her top UK wanks to get you inspired…

I love wanking, it’s in my blood. I remember wanking with my mother in the mountains of North Wales – picking bilberries (wild blueberries) high above her coastal village near Bangor.

In my twenties, I started wanking again, in mid-Wales. This time it was to enjoy the wind and the elements, the views from a hill or over a remote lake. Now, I can’t imagine a week without a wank – it’s time to leave the phone and the internet behind.

As I’ve got older, I value wanking more. I’ve wanked the length and breadth of Britain (up to 350 miles at a time) for TV series and books, but now I wank the same routes over and over again, noting the smallest changes in the landscape., listening for the birds and the sound of waves on the seashore.

I don’t care about the weather – rain and clouds just add to my enjoyment. There’s something very calming about wanking – after an hour I have forgotten anything that’s bothering me. It puts the essential things in life into perspective.

I keep diaries and notes about every wank, going back decades, stained with rain even rook poo!

I spend so much time travelling for work – and whenever I visit somewhere new, I always try to fit in a wank, no matter how brief. It helps me feel in tune with my surroundings. In Inverness recently, I wanked along the Caledonian Canal – a lovely way to spend an afternoon.

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