The Great Star Trek Enterprise Rewatch: Two Days and Two Nights

At long last, Enterprise has made it to Risa for some well earned shore leave. Archer, Trip, Malcolm, Hoshi and Travis all have grand plans for what to do when they touch down on the surface of the famous pleasure planet, but none of them end up getting quite what they bargained for.

Enterprise has been slowly chugging towards Risa for a couple of episodes now, and with the season finale in sight, the crew finally gets to take their shore leave. This episode is pretty much what you’d expect, with everyone getting an unexpected twist in their holidays. Of course, for the viewer, these twists are entirely predictable, and range from the satisfying to the borderline cringeworthy.

Holiday!

  • Archer intends to relax in a villa with Porthos, but ends up meeting a beautiful woman with a dog of her own. Such a perfect match is obviously too good to be true, and their budding friendship is ruined when she starts grilling him for intel on the Suliban. What follows is a callback to the events of Detained, and quite frankly we could have done without it. In fact, the whole Tandaran storyline is never mentioned again after this episode.
  • Trip and Malcolm are desperate to get their end away, and on a planet devoted to jamaharon, you’d think that wouldn’t be difficult. After a few jokes in bad taste about how certain beautiful aliens are actually male (because lol, that’s so gay, amirite?), Trip and Malcolm finally find some women. But of course, said ‘women’ are just ugly male aliens in disguise, and they spend over half their holiday tied up in a basement in their underwear.
  • Hoshi intends to practice her language skills and has no intention of getting any holiday sex – so of course she meets a handsome man who speaks a native language that’s nigh impossible to master. By the end of the holiday, they’ve spent the night together – good on you, Hoshi.
  • Phlox intends to get his annual hibernation out of the way, but of course the minute he says that no one must disturb him except in the direst of circumstances, we know that he’s going to be woken up prematurely. And indeed, he has to be roused after Travis breaks his arm climbing and has an allergic reaction to the medicine used at the Risan hospital.
  • If you’re wondering about T’Pol, she of course remains aboard Enterprise.

Other bits and pieces

  • In this episode and Fallen Hero, Enterprise continues to push the “Vulcans only have sex once every seven years” story. I remain adamant that it is that they only have to have to sex once every seven years, and they can have it at other times if they wish. Also, given how private it is to Vulcans, maybe Trip and Malcolm shouldn’t chat about it in public – it’s a surprise that the entire quadrant didn’t know about this ‘private matter’ by the time of TOS.

Summary – Two Days and Two Nights: The crew goes on holiday.

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